Why considering Mothers as ‘God’ could be Problematic

Image Credit: ashram.org

Translation: Revere your Mother as God, Revere your Father as God, Revere your Teacher as God.

Well somehow, ‘Revere your Mother as God’ seems to be more popular.

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Calling Mothers as Gods, sets unrealistic expectations on mothers to always be happy, emotionally and physically strong, juggling baby care and other chores like a pro, not take help and manage everything single-handedly, make never-ending sacrifices, be available 24/7 to the child, to instinctively know when the baby might fall sick or fall off the bed so that it can be prevented. It presumes that as soon as the baby is born, mothers know everything about years of parenting — right from latching the baby to the breast, patiently handling a sick and crying baby without getting tired, teaching the first words, handling tantrums because of a broken toy, a teenager’s hormones, and also support the child thru their ambitions in adulthood. It makes women conditioned to become ‘Perfect Mothers’(a flawed definition and expectation from Culture and Society), which is extremely exhausting. Who defines a ‘Perfect Mother’ anyway?? Anything less than perfect is perceived as “I am not a good enough mother” and fills them with shame and guilt despite doing the best to their abilities. And not to forget that the weight of shame and guilt are very heavy on the heads.

The problematic thinking that mothers are Gods, stops us from seeing them as humans who can get tired, frustrated and angry, who have fears and inadequacies, who need enough rest, who can make mistakes, and have personal interests and ambitions. It stops us from understanding that they have their own needs — emotional, social, physical, financial, sexual, and self-fulfillment needs. It also makes us perceive them as ‘not a good enough mother’ when they want to invest time on their needs too. Reducing women to mere mothers or rather making motherhood their identity fills mothers with guilt for having personal ambitions, getting tired while caring for a child, and getting angry and helpless because of lack of support.

How many of us have asked mothers(our mothers or other women who are mothers), what they want, what are their interests, where they like to go, and what they like to do?

Because Mothers are not Gods. They are Humans. Just Humans.